Here’s my take on this – While I definitely see how this is dangerous and I do recommend to not co-sleeping if that is possible for you, sometimes the situation forces you to do things differently. My personal experience is the exact opposite of what I’m recommending. When I first got home with my son I was sure he was going to be in his bassinet and right next to our bed. I was 100% convinced. Well, in the first few days I was toughing it out and doing my best. I would put him to sleep in his bassinet, he would wake up a couple hours later in the middle of the night, I would breastfeed him, and then put him back in his bassinet when he’d fall asleep. And I would do this every few hours. This was my first baby so naturally it took me a solid week to not stay awake all night staring at him making sure he was fine and breathing (I know you did this too).
The weeks went by and soon enough the lack of sleep hit me. And it hit me HARD. I was a complete zombie. So now when he would wake up in the middle of the night I would feed him and we’d fall asleep together in my bed. Before you know it, it’s morning. Well here I thought okay just a few days until I can get my sleep on track…this went on for months. To the point I would not even put him in the bassinet at all, we’d just go to bed together. Here’s the thing – when you are deathly tired and just plain exhausted with zero ounce of energy and the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, to me, it was impossible to stay awake while feeding him. Mind you, even with him sleeping next to me, I was still not getting good sleep because I would open my eyes to make sure he’s fine and breathing. There’s really no win for mommy no matter what way you do it.
This is hard enough for mommies already so there’s no need to judge anyone with how they are doing this motherhood thing.
There’s a lot of people that have told me, “It’s going to be so hard to seperate and put him in his own bed later.” Right now my son sleeps in his bed most nights. He’s teething still so sometimes he wakes up and wants to feed and sleep on momma, which is fine with me because now that I’m getting more sleep I feel rested enough to stay awake while he feeds and falls asleep. Once he falls into deep sleep I put him back in his bed. Here’s another fact about my son: he sleeps longer if he’s next to me until around 9am, but when he’s sleeping in his crib he wakes up early in the morning around 6-7am.
Well, there are a lot of tips and tricks that I’ve tried and have been working for me and I hope to help all mommas out there that are in this situation –
- Be consistent. I cannot stress this one enough. This is probably one of the biggest points that I will make because if you try the first day to stop co-sleeping and they constantly wake up and don’t want to sleep alone, you cannot give up. Continue to take them to their bed. And the consistency should continue the days to come. It’ll be hard in the beginning (trust me I know) but you can do it.
- Go to your childs room and get in bed with them. This is also another important one. Get in bed, grab a book they enjoy and read with them until they fall asleep. And if they wake up in the middle of the night, remember to be consistent and continue to take them back to their bed.
- Buy them a new stuffed animal or teddy bear that you know they will love. Get in bed with them and read that book and put the stuffed animal or bear in bed next to them as well. They might get used to the idea that they have to sleep wherever the teddy bear is sleeping as well.
These are tips that should kick off the seperation of co-sleeping. This transition should normally take only a few days for your child to get used to it and continue with the routine. I hope that this was helpful for you mommas. Let me know what you try and what works best for you! Good luck mommas, you can and will get through this.
I also want to mention that through it all, co-sleeping was beautiful for me and I wouldn’t have done it any other way. His snuggles all night were definitely the best. And to everyone that was trying to convince me that my son would be so attached and sleeping with me until he’s 5 or 6 and I won’t be able to do anything about it, in. your. face. 🙂 (there’s nothing wrong with anyone choosing to co-sleep with their kids until they are older, that is their decision and they should be respected)
Have a beautiful Thursday wherever you are in the world.
With lots of love,
Mariam
Marvelous Momma 