Good morning beautiful people! I hope your Wednesday is off to a great start 🙂

I wanted to share my top 5 Amazon faves at the moment with all of you. All items listed are my absolute must-haves for the month of February. Each item will have a link you can click on and it’ll take you straight to the item for purchase if you want to check it out:

https://amzn.to/2UXpezY

This first item is the Himalayan Scrub by Majestic Pure and it has Lychee Fruit Essential Oil as well as Almond Oil. This works great because the Himalayan Salt in it works well with your body’s natural pH balance. The salt also includes a great nutrient base including calcium, magnesium, potassium, copper & iron, with no harmful chemicals. This is also something both men and women are able to use. This will help detoxify the body and help improve hydration. Using a salt scrub or body scrubs is known to increase circulation, assist in the rejuvenation of your cells, leaving not only your skin revived, but your mind, body & spirit refreshed as well. And the best part of all this…this item is cruelty free and not tested on animals!! 🙂 I find that this works best when you use an exfoliating glove and scrub wherever you desire.

https://amzn.to/2Gswj8u

Another absolute favorite piece that I discovered on Amazon is the Rose Quartz Roller with Gua Sha. Roller skincare facial treatment and Gua Sha scraping can help clear fluids, boost micro-circulation, improve elasticity, promote cell turnover and stimulate lymphatic drainage for brighter, healthier and rejuvenated skin. I have been loving this stuff! It feels amazing on my face. I put this in the refridgerator the night before and then in the morning after I wash up and I’ve already done my skincare routine, I go ahead and use this right out of the fridge so it’s nice and cold which helps with depuffing and getting all the blood flowing in the face. I also use this on my neck which you can’t neglect. Love love love this stuff!

https://amzn.to/2GLntlo

This is definitely one of my favorites! I love using Aromatherapy Diffusers with Essential Oils. Prior to trying them I never gave it a chance and assumed these won’t do anything for me. Oh boy was I wrong! They’re amazing! I think that if you have trouble sleeping, have anxiety, have pain, headaches, and things of that sort, you should definitely give this a try. This one is by Erligpowht and it has really great features. It has 7 different color option settings, it’s super quiet, the capacity is large, four different timer settings, and a really good look. The cool part is that you can also use this in a baby’s/toddler’s room not just as the diffuser, but also as a night light. They find it pretty fun because of the different colors. Another great feature which I appreciate is that you have the option to use it without light if that’s something you prefer. So far I’m loving this and I think it’s worth a try.

https://amzn.to/2IdhKqW

I am currently using the therapeutic grade essential oils from Healing Solutions and the one that I purchased is the 14 pack because this includes lots of different healing kinds from all things like getting a good nights sleep, stress relief, deep muscle relief, to a bunch of other issues. Everyone has a different sensitivity to smells or maybe have none at all so when it comes to oils you just have to try a few until you find the one that suits you best. So far I’m loving this set and it’s really making a drastic difference for me. I can’t believe I didn’t try oils much sooner >.<

https://amzn.to/2Gunknt

And my last favorite item has to be this Sweet Sweat Waist Trimmer. You guys!! I love this product so much. It works wonders if you use this while working out every single time. You can also get their Sweet Sweat Stick (which is what I use with this every single time I workout and it’s amazinggg) and I honestly recommend using the stick with this because it helps you sweat more and it’s more effective. I think you guys will love this! Whether you’re trying to lose weight or stay fit, this is a win win. Don’t sleep on it guys! You won’t regret it.

And that’s a wrap! I hope that you guys will love these products just as much as I do. If you do purchase any of these or if you discover other items as well, let me know how you’re loving them. Thank you all for the support and ongoing love, it’s highly appreciated.

I hope that you’re having a beautiful Wednesday wherever you are in the world.

With lots of love,

Mariam

“Don’t do that you’re spoiling your baby and then they’re going to learn that and always want it”

“Don’t feed him to sleep”

“Don’t let him sleep on you”

“Don’t breastfeed too long, you’re not going to be able to wean him off later”

We’ve all heard these right? It’s an endless list.

Here’s what I’ll say to all of you mommas and soon to be mommas:

Don’t listen to anyone but your baby.

I’ve been through this and quite frankly I still hear things from others I don’t want to or care for. The most important thing you can do is take care of your baby. Right? Remember that your little one will be a baby for the first year, and then a toddler for a few years after, then before you know it they’re all grown up. So what am I saying? Our time is limited, it’s flying right by us, and it’s not guaranteed, so you should spend as much time with them, hold them close to you, and love them as hard as you can.

Every baby is different and so are their personalities so don’t ever compare what your baby wants and how they want it, to anothers. They all have different wants and needs. From the very first day my son wanted to be held by me. So when I would hear some mommas say their babies fall asleep on their own I couldn’t understand that. I would breastfeed my son and put him in his bassinet and try to walk away, but I’d be three steps away from him and he’d whine. So immediately I knew my son is not that type of baby that would fall asleep on his own and there is no need to stress him or I out by constantly trying to do something that is not going to work for either of us. His want was simple – feed and hold me while I fall asleep then put me down. My question is – why would I NOT do that for him? He was communicating with me so I can know that he wants me, why would I ignore that? Some babies don’t like to be held so I can understand it when their momma can put them down and they’ll fall asleep on their own.

You are their haven, their comfort, their home, their everything. 

You can stop feeling guilty and stressed because you are not doing anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with your baby or you. I hear other mommas expressing their stress because people around them are telling them you’re doing something “bad” and you’re setting up your baby for “failure” That is absurd and inaccurate. There is no such thing. There really is no “standard” way of doing anything. Nothing about raising a baby/child is standard. You need to do what is best for your little one whatever way that may be. I don’t believe that we can spoil our babies because all they’re doing is communicating what they want and need from the person that they love the most in this world. Some babies are fine on their own and some need us and that’s okay. Every baby is unique.

Our babies are now out in this big and unfamiliar world and the only thing that they know is you. If they want to be held by you and fall asleep on you, and you’re both comfortable with that, do it. Don’t let anyone elses opinions and thoughts change that or influence you in any way. I personally have had many people throw in their two cents (mostly when it’s not even asked for) and I’ve still done things with my son the way that I want and feel is most comfortable and neccessary. Nobody can influence me or tell me what to do with my son. To each their own.

As I’m working on my blog, my son is standing next to me completely stapled to my body while he’s watching his show. He just wants to be close to his momma and there’s nothing wrong with that. How can I possibly think that’s wrong? There’s no right or wrong, it’s each baby wanting different things in different ways.

How can you show them you love them too much? It’s not possible.

Momma, if you’ve made it to the end of my blog, I just want to remind you that you’re doing the best that you can and your baby loves and needs you the most so shake off that guilt and do what is right for the both of you. Don’t let anyone tell you how to parent. 

I hope that you enjoy your Friday wherever you are in the world.

With lots of love,

Mariam

 

Happy Wednesday everyone! [we’re halfway through the week] I hope you’re all having a beautiful week so far.

Today I decided to do a get to know me post. I’m going to tell you 25 facts about me so you can get to know me better and on a more personal level. If we have anything in common with me, don’t forget to share and let me know on Instagram!

1. I’m Armenian
2. I’m a Scorpio (November 14th is my birthday)
3. I’m 5’4
4. I’m 28 years old
5. I’m born and raised in Los Angeles
6. I have anxiety
7. I’m married to my better half, Tony
8. I’m addicted to coffee
9. I love animals
10. Pitbulls are my favorite dogs
11. I love to workout
12. I love babies and I want 3 boys and 1 girl
13. I am EXTREMELY claustrophobic
14. I have Trypophobia (if you are afraid of holes like me, don’t google this to see what it is, I know it sounds weird to most, but I am terrified)
15. I don’t have a favorite color
16. I love to write
17. I love to read
18. I love to travel (I wrote down a bunch of places that I want to travel to on my bucket list)
19. I am absolutely terrified of snakes and spiders
20. My all-time favorite TV shows (that I re-watch constantly) are Melrose Place, 90210 Bevery Hills, Golden Girls, Empty Nest, Frasier, Cheers, Saved by the Bell, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Charmed, Friends, Grey’s Anatomy (and this is just to name a few – this doesn’t even include my disney channel favorites)
21. My favorite ice cream is the Rite Aid Thrifty brand 
22. I hate walking bare-foot (even on hot summer days inside the house I’m wearing socks)
23. I love fried zucchini
24. I don’t enjoy eating meat (fish all dayyy)
25. I love pasta (I can eat it every single day)

There you guys have it, 25 facts about me. I hope that you enjoyed it and if you’d like me to do more posts like this to add more personality then let me know and I definitely will. Have a beautiful Wednesday everyone.

With lots of love,

Mariam

Happy Monday everyone! It’s a new week that’s going to bring new opportunities to the table and I wanted to give you all some motivation and tips that you can remember on your path to success.

1. Stop thinking about the things you want from life and get up and start chasing your dreams or you’re never going to catch them.
2. If you fail, which you will at some point, don’t give up! Keep going and keep fighting. Remember to see failure as your starting point and not the end.
3. Always be kind to others because you never know when you’re going to need help from someone. You want all the good and positive support you can get.
4. If there are things lingering in your mind from your past that is not letting you move forward, make peace or let them go.
5. Never ever assume anything. On the contrary, question everything.
6. Never compare yourself or your journey with anyone elses.
7. Take risks
8. Be original
9. Love and have passion for what you are doing.
10. Don’t chase money. If you’re only doing it for the money your dreams won’t last. If you love what you’re doing, the money will come, but you’ll never work a day in your life.

These 10 steps are the ones that I pinned in my head and I try to follow through with them everyday. Start by loving yourself and don’t give up on your dreams. Listen to your own mind and heart. Don’t allow others, especially negative ones, to get in your private space and influence you. You are your own teacher and guidance. Be better to yourself. I hope that this was helpful in some way for you guys. I truly believe that if you stick to these rules, success will come to you sooner than you think. Your dreams matter, YOU matter. So get up, get dressed, sip that coffee, and make great things happen.

With lots of love,

Mariam

 

Happy Thursday to all of you!

Today’s blog is a little different – I let you guys ask me questions on Instagram and I’m here to answer some of them for you.

1. How do you time manage with a little one and being a wife and taking care of the house?

– This is a tricky one. I’m going to be honest and say that every day is different for me. There’s no two days that are the same. I’ve learned not to stress about things that can wait and get done later. For example, laundry or unloading the dishwasher. I used to stress a lot and at some point convinced myself that I need to do everything all in one day. That’s not a real expectation. And slowly but surely I’ve realized that it’s okay sometimes to not finish certain tasks and move it to the next day. And I feel much better. As far as being a wife, that naturally moved to the second half of the day because my husband works. I take advantage of time when my little one naps. So I would say, don’t stress if you don’t finish laundry today, just do it tomorrow or take care of your dishes when the little one naps. Or even cleaning the house, I take it one step at a time. It’s okay to take pit stops throughout the day.

2. What are some tips on self-care?

– My faves are definitely masking and taking a long bath. As I previously mentioned, take advantage of the time when your little one naps. Or masking even if they’re awake. You can even have movie night when they go to bed for the night.

3. How do you handle tantrums?

– This I know is a tough one for some mommas. Sometimes it’s easy to feel like you’re going to fall apart. It will pass I promise. Now that he’s a little older it’s easier for me to give him a second to cry it out – he usually stops because he realizes he’s not getting his way – I speak gently with him because if you notice yelling at them or being too loud, makes them cry more and that’s because it’s scaring them. So I choose to speak gently and I look into his eyes when I am and he normally calms down. Now this might or might not work for you, you have to try different things until you find their weak spot.

4. What is your favorite movie to watch?

– Oh my goodness I have so much! Some of my favorites have to be 10 Things I Hate About You, Pretty Woman, Titanic, Because I Said So, Monster In Law, Enough, Double Jeopardy, and there’s so much more it’ll take me forever to write down. To be honest, most of them are older movies. I don’t like any of the movies that are out now.

5. Do you prefer sunny weather or cold?

– I am a November baby so I’m definitely a lover of cold weather. It’s been raining super hard in Los Angeles today so I’m very happy.

6. Coffee or Tea?

– Love both, but I’ll definitely have to go with coffee.

7. Do you like to read?

– I loveee reading. It’s definitely something I do when I need to get away and de-stress. If you guys are interested I’ll do a post on some good books that I’ve enjoyed.

8. Does your son sleep through the night?

– Yes and no. The reason I’m saying both is because he’s currently teething so sometimes he wakes up looking for comfort and then other times he sleeps just fine.

9. Is breastfeeding hard?

– 1000% yes. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s been the most amazing experience and as hard as it is I love it. And when I decide to stop I think it’s going to be harder on me than him. 😦

10. Are you planning on having more kids? How many?

– Definitely yes. I think 4 would be the most I would have. 3 or 4. I currently have baby fever >.< I really miss being pregnant. I can’t wait to feel that all over again.

& that you guys is the 10 questions I chose at random to answer. That was fun and I think we should do this again. 🙂

With lots of love,

Mariam

Strive for progress and not the popular misconception of being perfect. There seems to be a lot of pressure on having a perfect image, but let’s get real – is this achievable? In my opinion, perfection doesn’t exist and society puts way too much pressure on having that ‘perfect’ everything. I think that we should work to change that and choose to continue to improve ourselves (for us and not the approval of others), and not strive for something that isn’t real, rather things that are actually attainable and bring happiness into your mind, body, and soul.

This is for everyone, but especially women and mothers. Nothing about motherhood is perfect. And God knows, even if you try it’s still not perfect. When I imagine perfect, I can almost feel the boredom seeping through my mind. Why would we want that? Life is about making mistakes and the crucial step is, learning from them. There’s a difference – if you’re constantly making mistakes and not learning then you’re going to hit a wall and we all know how that feels. You have to choose to learn. You have to want to learn for you to be able to move forward.

When you fail at something look at it as an opportunity instead of just a failure and allowing yourself to get stuck in the same place. Take the opportunity, try again and turn it around. Once you put in the effort, your failures will soon become accomplishments.

Now that I’m a mother, I can without hesitation say that this is the hardest job on the planet 110%. Do I make mistakes? All the time. Is my house in order every second of everyday? Not even close. Is my laundry done all the time? Nope. And there’s really no end to this list. As I’m typing my blog, my son is climbing everything and I keep getting off my seat so I can bring him down. He’s throwing all of his toys everywhere. He’s screaming and babbling so loud that I can barely hear myself think. Every 10 minutes he wants to breastfeed so at some point I’m typing with one hand. And he keeps disappearing so I have to get up and go find him every 5 minutes. And this is a constant until he naps. And his napping can be 45 minutes, an hour, or maybe even three hours if I’m extra lucky that day. So, here I am trying my best to be the ultimate best version of myself, but I’m making mistakes along the way and I’m learning from them and moving forward. Mistakes will never go away. They are always there like speed bumps to remind you to slow down and take it one step at a time.

Don’t compare your progress with someone elses. You don’t know the struggles the other person had to go through to get where they are now. You need to remember this – it’s okay to grow slow. Everyones journey is different. Your only competition should be yourself and that’s all you need.

To all the mommas that are in a rut or stuck and need motivation and love – take care of your babies at your own pace and in your own way – don’t forget to love and take care of yourself too as you are just as important. They need you and you need them. Challenge your own self and not others around you (especially strangers on the internet) because that’s what’s going to help improve and make yourself better. I think the first thing we should do together is start focusing on our own journeys and start believing in ourselves because we can do it. I mean of course we can, we grow little humans in our tummies for 9 months and then give birth to them – that sounds like superpowers to me 🙂

One of the most powerful and beautiful things that I get to see online is women supporting women especially in the motherhood colony. It’s amazing to witness and be a part of and remember that you all have my support and love.

I hope that you are all having a beautiful and productive Wednesday wherever you are in the world.

With lots of love,

Mariam

 

We all know that electronics have become a staple in our daily lives. It has also become an addictive reflex to reach for them in every situation throughout the day. We wake up in the morning and the first thing we do is check our phones before we even get out of bed. Admit it, you do that too. 

Has it evolved into an unhealthy habit? Beyond our imaginations. But, I think that we can still incorporate it into our lives and keep a healthy lifestyle. Now, the hard part is keeping our little ones away right?

Here’s my truth – My son is not the type to sit down quietly and let me feed him and I think that most kids are the same. They have a ton of energy and they want to be moving around, throwing things, and breaking them and all that good stuff. So here’s what I do – when I have to feed him, whether it’s breakfast, lunch or dinner, I turn on the TV or ipad and put on some of his favorite youtube content (that I made sure is educational and not some random cartoon that isn’t teaching him anything) and I let him watch while I feed him. And this will take 10 or 15 minutes. So instead of stressing out myself and constantly running after him and pulling him close to me so I can get a spoonful in his mouth, which is likely not to happen because he will fight me, I sit him down or put him in his highchair and allow him to watch his favorites. When I turn on his content he immediately quiets down and will allow me to set him somewhere so he can eat without fighting me. This way he does get to watch something educational and more importantly eat his food which is always a struggle. Like I said, this takes 10 or 15 minutes max. So all in all, each day he gets about 40 to 45 minutes watch time. I also like to make sure that the brightness setting on the ipad or cell phone is at the lowest so it doesn’t hurt his eyes. Another good tip is to not hand them the ipad or cell phone. Always put it somewhere away from their reach. And this is for two reason – the first is for you to have full control and the second reason is, to not have it so close to their eyes/face which is a big no-no.

I know a lot of mommas are struggling with this subject and most times feel guilty if they ever give in. There was a momma that messaged me about her day and how frustrated and guilty she felt because her little one was giving her a hard time and she already had a stressful day with her three other kids, so she gave in and put her little one in front of the ipad so she can go in the other room and BREATHE. It’s OH-KAY. There is no need to feel guilty for allowing yourself to take a moment to relax and gather yourself. We need a second to breathe and if that means giving them the ipad for 10 minutes, then so be it. There’s a giant different between 10 minutes and 3 hours.

Sooner or later they are going to have cell phones and they’re going to be using laptops all day long for their homework and school and there’s not going to be much that you can control. So in the meantime, while you still have control over them, the best thing you can do is set your time limits on how long they have screen time throughout the day.

Here are some ideas for activities with your little one(s) away from those screens –

• Go outside and ride bikes or take walks (what I would do is point at different objects and ask them what they are and what color, make the walk fun and educational)
• Play board games with the family
• Have a scavenger hunt
• Arts  & Crafts
• Paint
• Have a dance contest
• Puzzles
• Read books together

These are just a couple ideas for you mommas, but there are tons of other things that you can do with your kids and families without TV’s, ipads, and cell phones. And the best part other than the educational aspect is – you’re making memories.

Mommas, you’re doing an amazing job so do yourself a favor and stop with the guilt trip. Let me know what you do that works best and your kids enjoy the most. I’m always looking for more ideas.

Fun fact: I’m breastfeeding my son as I’m typing my blog, talk about a struggle >.<

I hope that you are having a beautiful Tuesday wherever you are in the world.

With lots of love,

Mariam

 

(Other than the boobies, of course)

I want to share a few of my sons favorite foods and snacks that he eats often. These are his top favorite items that I never have a problem feeding him and I don’t have to fight or run after him to eat it.

Dinner Foods – 

• Salmon with baked  or mashed potatoes
• Red Lentil Soup (packed with yellow potatoes, orzo, red lentils, white onions, carrots, celery)
• Plain Pasta (I normally pair this with chicken breast because the pasta is very plain)
• Chickpea Soup
• Chicken with veggie meatballs
• & I also want to mention that he loves bread so he normally eats a little bit of bread on the side with his meals

Yummy Snacks

• Right now for some strange reason my son doesn’t care for fruits by themselves so I make a smoothie for him everyday and oddly enough he loves it! I mix  strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, green apple, banana, kiwi, super greens like spinach – kale – arugula – red and green swiss chard – tat soi, avocado and for liquid I add in a little bit of almond milk.
• Earths Best organic cookies in oatmeal cinnamon (these are the best cookies, I eat some too >.<)
• Plum Organics super puffs cereal in the strawberry and beet flavor

 

As you can notice there isn’t any dairy or milk products and it’s not because I’m not choosing to give any to him, but it’s because he has an allergy to milk and dairy so as of now I am not letting him have any. I’ll definitely keep you guys updated.

These are just a few of the things my son enjoys eating and I hope that this gave you mommas some ideas if you’re looking for any. If anyone wants recipes and how I prepare some of the dinner foods please let me know on instagram and I’ll definitely post them up for you.

Have a beautiful Monday wherever you are in the world.

With lots of love,

Mariam

 

 

 

 

This is a tough one, but writing about it makes it so much easier. It was a long road until I finally got pregnant with my son. For me, it felt like that road was never going to lead me to my baby.

I did this the traditional way – meet someone, get married, then have kids. Actually, I didn’t really have a choice because I was raised in a traditional Christian family so this is all I knew. Whether I believed that this is how it should be done or not, it somehow worked itself out that way anyway.

I met my husband in early 2012 and we hit it off instantly. We dated for a few months and by the end of the year he had proposed to me (obviously I said yes) and soon after we were already planning our wedding. Our wedding was on September 14, 2014 and we knew we wanted to try having a baby soon.  I found out I was pregnant right after we got back from our honeymoon and when I took that test and saw a positive sure enough we were in tears and couldn’t believe it happened that fast.

So I did the responsible thing and called my doctor and they gave me my first appointment, two weeks from that day. Later that day my lower back was in a lot of pain and in my head I thought this is normal. I remember thinking ‘wow, the symptoms sure do start early on in the pregnancy’. After a few days my lower back was in so much pain that I couldn’t really do anything, at work I was barely making it through my day and when I would get home I just had to lay down. I was telling my husband that I’m starting to think this is not normal because the pain is excruciating at this point. So I decided to call my doctor and let her know what’s going on. And just my luck she wasn’t in the office so I had to leave her a message. The next day, and this is on, October 8, 2014, I’m sitting at my desk at work and I just feel something in my gut drop. I immediately felt like I peed on myself. I get up and run to the restroom. I put my pants down and everything is covered in blood. I knew at that moment something is definitely wrong and it’s not going to end well. I was trying to shut out my mind because all it was telling me was that this is a miscarriage. So I called my husband and he came to pick me up and take me to the ER. We get there and they took me in right away. They take all the tests neccessary and gave me some pain medicine while I wait for the results. The doctor came back and I already knew what he’s going to say by just looking at his face. The words I was avoiding to hear for the past few hours – “I’m sorry, but you had a miscarriage.” 

We get up, go home, and I for one, got in bed and I didn’t want to get out. I was bleeding heavily and in excrutiating pain. The least horrible part of this was that they didn’t have to do surgery because my body was expelling everything out on its own. I was in bed for over two weeks and I couldn’t get out of the sad bubble and get back on track. It was very hard for me not just mentally and emotionally, but physically as well. My birthday month, which is November, had approached and I decided this isn’t where it’s going to end. I’m going to get back on track and continue living my life and soon enough I’ll have my baby. Don’t give up right?

Are you guys ready for this? I got pregnant again sometime in November and I was shocked because I didn’t think my body would be ready so quickly. I let my doctor know and I just waited for my appointment which was in a week instead of two this time. Here’s where this ride abrubtly takes a stop – December 5, 2014 I had another miscarriage. This time around my reaction was colder and barely there. I just froze and didn’t really talk. I told my husband and family that we’re not having a discussion about this and we’re moving on. Everyone thought I’m going to fall apart sometime soon if I don’t talk about it. But I didn’t. Was I sad? Sure I was. Was I stronger this time? Definitely. I prayed. Hard. And I let God take the wheel and steer it whatever direction that he thinks I’m supposed to go. I let go of my fears and anger and definite confusion (that famous question: why did this happen?) I let it all go.

I continued with my life and that years ends, then 2015 and 2016 ends as well. I wasn’t getting pregnant this time. So now my worries get much bigger. Why am I not getting pregnant?

January 2017, my husband and I decide that we should go see a specialist. We make our appointment and emotionally and mentally prepare ourselves. Our appointment, which was a consultation, took three hours. The doctor asked both husband and I what felt like a thousand questions per person. At the end she ensured us that soon I’ll get pregnant and everything is going to work out. They hand has a bunch of papers and equipment that we each need to use to do our tests and return for our first real appointment and the getting pregnant journey will begin.

Now it’s the end of January and I feel funny. (mind you, we haven’t done any tests yet)

I decide to buy a pregnancy test. Negative.

Am I crazy? Is this all in my head because I want to get pregnant so much? It can’t be.

I buy another pack. Negative.

I FEEL PREGNANT!

Guess what I did? I bought another pack. Neeeggaative.

I’m not crazy.

I leave a message for my doctor to order a blood pregnancy test because I know I’m pregnant. That same day I went to take the test and I had to wait until tomorrow morning so they can call me with the results. That night felt like years.

The next morning, I’m about to walk into work and I get a call. I don’t even let it ring more than once. I just remember the nurse tell me –

“Congratulations, you’re pregnant.”

I could barely stand. She let me know that most likely I got pregnant sometime between January 21 – 25. She then tells me I have to go to a pharmacy to pick up my progesterone prescription and start using it immediately and this was to try our best to protect this pregnancy.

Before I knew it – my first trimester was done. Then my second…and then finally my third and my handsome little king was born on October 4, 2017.

(why am I crying while typing this?) I’m such a crybaby sometimes.

I know there are people that are still trying after years and years to get pregnant and I know first hand how tough it is. Don’t give up, keep trying because you never know when it’s your time. I pray that time for you is near.

I hope that you have a beautiful Sunday wherever you are in the world.

With lots of love,

Mariam

 

How important is your mental health? The answer is VERY.

All of our mental health status is going to be different obviously. The most important thing you can do for yourself is pay attention and don’t ignore your thoughts and feelings. Your mind and your body are always telling you what’s going on and where you need to pay a little extra attention.

As a mother, naturally, my instinct is to put my son and my husband before me. And since motherhood keeps you busy 24/7 and it’s a neverending job, we tend to forget about checking in with ourselves and we definitely ignore the signs and symptoms.

Our bodies and minds are so powerful and so amazing that anything that is even slightly wrong or out of place we instantly know. Also, another important thing not to forget – always trust your gut and instinct. They’re usually right on target, if not every single time.

It is just as important to pay attention to ourselves as it is for our families. Even I’m guilty of this. I usually set myself aside to make sure that my husband and son are well and taken care of all the time. But what about me? Don’t get me wrong, my husband pays attention to me and he’s always trying to make sure that I’m feeling well too. He takes good care of me. Most times, even when I’m not feeling well, I’ll tell him that I am. Oops. I know I shouldn’t and if he reads this he’s not going to be so happy with me >.<

Here’s the thing – we mothers think that if we say ‘I’m fine’ enough times, what’s actually wrong with us will go away. Am I right? That’s what I do too often. Now part of my new year resolution is to change that. And to be honest, I think I’m doing a much better job. I’ve mentioned before that I have anxiety and it is very easily triggered. What I learned about myself in the last couple of months is that once I accept that something is wrong and I need to work on fixing it or I should say, improving, that’s when things actually start to change and evolve for the better. 

You can feel depressed, anger, anxiety, sadness, stress, and a ton of other things. And these feelings and thoughts can just occur for no real reason. There is no reason to blame yourself or think that it’s your fault. It’s not and it’s improvable. See, having all the responsiblities of a mother and wife can get overwhelming and it’s okay to ask for help. You are not a bad mother or wife. You have dishes to wash, lots of loads of laundry, house to clean, cook, and this is all happening while you are taking care of your baby or multiple children. This includes diaper changes, feeding, naps, accidents, playtime, destroying things around the house and this list just keeps going and going. I mean just typing that made my stress levels rise because it’s true. Also, this doesn’t include that you are a wife or girlfriend that needs to give attention to your significant other as well. So where do we fit in all this? It’s okay to wash your dishes later on. It’s okay to do your laundry tomorrow instead of today. It’s also okay to clean your house tomorrow. We are constantly trying to put ourselves in this perfect little bubble and maintain the image of a perfect mother and spouse. Why? Who are you so willingly trying to impress? Where’s the need? 

Two words: Social Media

Never allow yourself to think that what you see on social media is reality. I’ve seen it too. Other mommas that post all these perfect pictures and in the backgrounds you see pure perfection of a clean home, everything in place, with flowers and candles everywhere…how many seconds or minutes do you think after the picture was taken did that image last? Not long. As they say, ‘for the sake of the gram’

Stop comparing. It’s not real.

With all the responsibilities that we already carry on our shoulders, comparing our lives to images that are not real, will drive us crazy. Don’t overbear your mind, body, and soul with nonsense. Instead of putting time in comparing your life with a strangers, work on yourself and cleanse your mental space. Check on your mental space often and never ignore what your mind and body are trying to tell you.

You are suffering in your own silence. And that is something that can destroy you if you don’t stop. At some point that boiling pot of stress, anxiety, depression, and overwhelming sadness is going to tip over and at that point everything will be much worse. You do not need to suffer alone. When you ask for help and you start working through your feelings and thoughts, you’re not suffering anymore, you’re improving. There’s a big difference.

So stop saying that you are ‘fine’ because I know what that means and that was my life for a long time until I hit rock bottom and the help was staring me in the eyes and I didn’t have enough strength to say that I’m ‘fine’.

Talk to your family, your health care provider, or even begin seeing a therapist if you have to. Do what you feel is right. Most importantly, don’t forget to pay attention to yourself because you matter and there are a ton of people that need you, care about you, and love you.

I pray that you find the light in your darkness and come out stronger than ever.

I hope that you have a beautiful and stress-free Saturday wherever you are in the world.

With lots of love,

Mariam